Distant
by Lunaculus
Summary: After many years of searching, N finally finds his fellow Hero, Touya. Only to find out he's too late. Isshushipping/Oneshot


The stench of a sterile hospital room alone would have easily been enough to scare N. He had always hated hospitals. Being in a hospital always meant that somebody had gotten hurt. Often someone who he knew. He wanted everyone he knew to be safe, to be alive, happy and breathing. It was the same with Pokemon Centers to him. He'd always rather use all-natural herbs and such to heal his pokemon instead of going to the Centers about it. He simply couldn't bear the sight of all the injured pokemon, some of which were injured due to people not treating them properly.  
He cared too much.

Even without the fact how deeply he cared for the person who was now laying on a cold hospital bed in front of him, N would have been horrified at where he was. It seemed as though the world was now scolding him, making him pay for having been a fool in the past. Oh how he had begged for Arceus to be merciful on him and his beloved ones for his mistakes. Countless times. Now that his father was no longer beating him up for every mistake he made, he punished himself. Like he had punished himself by leaving the region he called home. By leaving the one person he cared for.

Yet there he stood, at the door to a single-person hospital room, unable to move. He was frozen in place from the horror and regret that were now making his insides turn upside down. N felt sick and wanted to run away, wanted to find the nearest toilet and throw up out of mere guilt. But he couldn't bring himself to do that. Not now when he had finally found the thing he had searched for so long.  
Touya Black.

The brunette lay motionless in the bed under the pure white sheets, his hair a swirly mess on the equally white pillow. His eyes were closed, his eyelids carefully hiding the chocolate brown eyes behind them and his dark eyelashes staying completely still. The boy was in a deep, deep slumber and his skin was pale, almost matching the covers around him. The slightly parted lips were covered with an oxygen mask and N noted that there were some wires coming from Touya's wrist, connecting him to a machine next to him that was keeping him alive. On the night stand next to the bed there were flowers and a "get well"-card that N could instantly recognize to be from Bianca and Cheren. The flowers were still alive, indicating that the brunette's friends were still visiting him often.

It took a long while before N's feet agreed to his will. He slowly walked into the room, approaching the seat that was placed next to the bed. His turquoise eyes kept on glancing at Touya almost as if the young man was afraid that he'd wake up his friend. Which was ridiculous considering that nothing more could have made him feel better right at that moment than the brunette waking up all okay. That joy was not granted for him though and the green haired man sat on the bench without anything happening.

It was completely silent except for the machine beeping. N swallowed several times, trying to open his throat so that he could speak. When he no longer had anything stuck in his throat, he still couldn't bring himself to talk. He didn't have the courage. Instead he placed his hands on his knees, gripping at the fabric of his brown jeans. He couldn't look at Touya. He just couldn't.  
This is all my fault. I should have never left.  
It was true. If N had never left Unova, he could have prevented it all from happening.

That blonde girl, Bianca, had been the one to break the news for the green-haired young man. Poor girl had seemed so... depressed talking about it. Had it not been for Cheren, N was certain that Bianca would have crumbled in front of him and cried in sheer pain. Begged for Touya to awaken even though everyone knew that wishing for something that unlikely was no use. N himself found himself hoping that too, as well as hoping childishly for this all to be nothing but some horrific nightmare.

The turquoise eyes turned to look out of the hospital window in search for something better to look at than their owner's lap. The sky was a beautiful shade of light blue with countless puffy, soft clouds of different shapes drifting with the wind. It was summer. The best time of summer when it was warm without being too hot and the water in the ocean and the lakes was crystal clear, inviting people and pokemon for a swim. Had the things not turned out like this, N would have gladly ran around the region together with Touya and watched in awe at the beautiful places their region owned. Yet after hearing from Bianca just how the brunette had ended up as he was N wasn't sure if the swimming part of the planned adventures would have been the best idea.

Upon always having seen Touya use his pokemon to travel across water, N had had his doubts about the young champion's swimming skills. Other people must have found it odd as well. The brunette had kept his secret at least somewhat well though considering how no one had been there to help him when it all had happened. Apparently the poor boy had fallen off a cliff when he had been chasing done some former Team Plasma member. Right into the water, back first. He hadn't been able to call out his swanna for help due to the shock. Neither had he had the strength to reach the surface before it was too late. It had been some passerby, a brunette girl with bright sky blue eyes who had spotted the boy in the water and brought him back on land.  
By then it had been already too late though. The harm was done and the former champion fell into a deep slumber from which he was yet to awaken.

With a trembling sigh N finally gazed upon the small figure on the hospital bed. Touya's breathing was steady and calm. Almost hypnotically slow. It relaxed the green-haired man slightly and helped him form a tiny smile on his lips as he spoke.  
"...hi, Touya."  
For a lingering moment the older male waited for a response. He never received one, of course, except for the constant beeping of the machine that seemed as if it was starting to dig its way inside his head. He would probably hear the sound for all eternity from this day on, suffer from its tormenting voice screaming in his ears that his beloved one was done for.

In a matter of minutes N realized that his hands were trembling. Feeling the need to touch something solid, to confirm that Touya was still there, the former king placed his palm on top of the unconscious brunette's hand and squeezed it softly. The fact that Touya didn't squeeze back was painful and for the hundredth time N needed to swallow his tears that were starting to make breathing harder for him. Soon he would need an oxygen mask just as bad as his friend if this went on. The green-haired young man laughed faintly at the thought and pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes nearly falling closed.  
"I've missed you."

The time felt like it had stopped. It frightened N in a way because he could hardly even tell anymore if the pauses he had between his words lasted for seconds or hours. A part of him stayed alarmed, expecting Touya to bounce up any second while most of him was denying the figure even being his lovely brunette. N wanted to think that they had all the time in the world. Everything that would tear him away from the sleeping beauty in front of him, his mind denied. That including the information he had gotten from Touya's mother earlier this day.

They had met in the lounge of the hospital by accident. Touya's mother had been just as tired and devastated-looking as Bianca. Not only that but she had also looked like she had lost all hope on life. And for a good reason. The woman had immediately recognized N as her son's friend and stopped him to have a chat. They ended up talking for a long time in the hospital cafeteria, both somehow avoiding the subject of Touya's fate. They couldn't avoid it forever though and in the end Touya's mother had stared at her coffee, letting out a deep sigh.  
"The doctors are saying he won't wake up", the chocolate haired woman had said quietly. "They're saying... they're saying that it's no use and that the treatment should be stopped already."  
And with that ever so pained look in her blue eyes, the woman had smiled. Smiled in a way that had shattered N's heart.  
"I'm not a wealthy woman. Neither am I young. Just traveling here to Nacrene all the way from Nuvema every month is starting to tire me. So if you truly are willing to see my son... please do so now. Make that meeting worthwhile."

No matter how hard N's mind was trying to deny it, the reality still struck him and emerged tears in his eyes. Before the young man even knew it he fell from the chair he had been sitting on on his knees next to the bed. His hand was still tightly gripping Touya's as if fearing that the boy would slip away if he didn't do so. Knelt next to the bed he held the pale hand close to his face as he started sobbing.  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

What exactly he was apologizing for was a mystery to even himself. He was sorry for way too many things. For not having told the boy the truth about him being the king of Team Plasma. For having gotten mad at him in Chargestone Cave over things that didn't even matter. For the battle that had occurred between Touya and his father back in the Plasma Castle that had gotten some of the boy's pokemon severly injured.  
For all the time he had lost in search for himself when he could have spent that time together with Touya.  
"I'm sorry, Touya."

The light turquoise eyes looked at Touya's face briefly. That restful nearly saint-like emotion that didn't change at all even after N's miserable emotion burst. The older male wiped away his tears and laughed out joylessly, his hands still trembling.  
"...I wonder if you even heard that", he muttered. "Funny. At the same time I hope you did, yet hope you didn't."  
No reply. Just silence. N smiled a little.  
"You would have liked the places I visited. They were incredibly beautiful. Like this one place where it was raining ash all the time, almost like snow. And a whole city hidden within pure white stone."

The smile faded slowly and was replaced by a look of pain. N kept on observing Touya's face out of instinct and every second with the brunette not responding caused him more pain.  
"I...", he spoke timidly, finally turning away and once more gazing at his knees. "I think I never told you how... how much you mean to me."  
The green haired king leaned closer to the resting boy, his cheeks flushing with color. He endedy up resting his head on Touya's arm.  
"You taught me that not all humans are cruel. You taught me the pleasures of having a human heart and the beauty of relationships between people and pokemon", he spoke quietly. "And for that I'll always be grateful to you. For that I..."

The sentence came to a halt. The tears gathering in N's throat enabled him to speak once more. His grip on Touya's hand tightened some more and he sniffled.  
"If only we had had more time", he whispered weakly. "We could have shown each other so much more."  
The warm teardrops rolled down N's cheeks, landing on Touya's arm.  
"I love you."  
As N's ears were greeted with nothing but the same beep-sound over and over again, he buried his head in Touya's shoulder and wept.  
"I love you."  
The hold on the brunette's hand was desperately begging for a response.  
"Please. Please... come back! You can't go yet...! What will your pokemon do without you?! What will I do?!"

It was then that the machine keeping Touya alive started acting weird. The beeping noise became a bit faster for a moment and N's heart skipped a beat. His eyes darted to stare at the chocolate haired boy's face, expecting to see some sort of emotion other than that of a sleeping person's. Nothing. He still kept on waiting though. Waiting until the beep in his ears started ringing non-stop.  
And N had seen just enough hospital TV-series and movies about hospitalized people to know what it meant.

It all happened too fast to comprehend. The nurses rushed into the room and in a matter of tens of seconds N found himself pushed away from Touya as well as out of the room. He couldn't but stare at the hospital room door in horror and listen to the nurses try their best to help his beloved brunette, save his life.  
In his mind he heard a small, familiar voice whisper a word. The exact same word he had said to the boy in the hospital room many years ago.  
"Farewell."


End file.
